What are your gifts? Who are your people?

I was at a retreat this past weekend, where our group addressed and explored the third and final stage of the heroic journey – the Return. After the first stage, where our protagonists respond to a “Call to Adventure,” for a time leaving the familiarity of their previously-known lives to explore all that might be beyond that – fluid and shifting, emotionally rich and challenging… inspiring, frightening and freeing – they turned their attention to the Return. The task of the return is for the hero or heroine to bring back a gift, blessing, or new vision, that will heal, complete, or bring back to balance the world from which he or she originally left.

People are initiated into heroic journeys when some new energy, challenge, or perspective enters their lives. This can happen through breakups and divorces, health or economic crises, addictions, close encounters with death or any other situation that requires the old order or way of seeing things to expand or come to a close. This adventure, this time outside the borders may be planned or just happen to you, but it is an archetypal journey and the way people grow.

At the end of this week, I’ll be flying to New Mexico to lead a vision quest, and I’ve had the honor and privilege of doing this for over 35 years. People often choose to undertake a quest because there is something in their ordinary and familiar lives that has to grow and give way, and they’re searching for answers to what that might be. And when they find that they faced the challenge of returning, of bringing that new vision — call it passion, purpose, truth, authentic voice — back into the world from which they left. A traditional question asked at the end of a vision quest is, “What gifts do you have to give to your people?” In fact, this is two questions: “What are your gifts?” and “Who are your people?” The first question asks who you are –

• “What are you passionate about? … What are you here for? … What brings you alive?”

What is your gift? Imagine the mystery, the universe has placed a seed inside you that needs to come forth and bear fruit to feed the world, and if you don’t cultivate that seed, there is a hole in the fabric of the cosmos where something – You – should be. When you find and give this gift you are living out of your soul and have found your purpose in life.

Who are your people? The task of the giveaway requires finding and claiming your gifts, then giving them to “your people.” Once upon a time, the definition of one’s people was clear – those in your village or tribe. These people lived in your immediate circle, were involved in, and necessary for, your survival. But times have changed. The modern era is made up of multi-layered and complex social networks and an information overload that includes hundreds of channels and YouTube videos to stream, an overabundance of overlapping identity groups, and a glut of Facebook followers or friends. This ocean of hazy, overlapping and abstract affiliations can cloud our horizon and make answering this question, “Who are your people?” difficult.

If we have a gift, where and to whom shall we give it? The question must be answered, for becoming an adult requires being connected and woven into a larger circle of community — “the people.” Lacking traditional answers that served us for millennia, it’s a challenge – but necessary – to answer this in our own way. One person may answer, “My partner and children. Those are my people.” But that response doesn’t serve everyone. Another might reply, “People in recovery… veterans… those protecting the coral reefs…” or “those working for peace.” Living a soulful and purposeful life requires knowing who “your people” are to make real their giveaway. Trying to give one’s gift to the wrong people is a recipe for failure; the seed you need to plant and nurture can die from barren soil and a lack of support.

Howard Thurman, American author, theologian, educator, and civil rights leader, once said, “ask not what the world needs; Ask instead what brings you alive. For what the world needs is people who are fully alive.”  The fulfillment of the giveaway does not come from giving up or sacrificing your passions in service of others. It comes from being yourself fully. If, in your soul, you are a singer – that is what you give to your people! If you are a teacher – that is what you give! If you are is a shaman, a poet, a dancer, a healer – that is what you give! The giveaway is not about trying to be somebody you are not. It is about being yourself fully… for your people.

In so doing we become adults. We become responsible, empowered… We experience a “freedom to,” not a “freedom from” … find a satisfaction from giving rather than getting, being fully ourselves as we participate and contribute to life. This orientation — very different from that of a child or adolescent – initiates us into adulthood, and it bears tremendous gifts.